Hurts

I was asked this week to think and pray about my hurts. More so hurts I’ve experienced in my life that are still with me. Here’s what I’ve come up with so far.
1. Being left out as a child. It seemed everyone in my life were always buddied up and I was mostly without a bff. I remember being in 6th grade and being so angry with my parents after Sunday school that they didn’t immediately come find me after they were let out of service. I HATED being alone. I hated the label “loner” even though I was never called one; the fear alone was enough to make me never be caught dead standing alone!
2. I know most school kids can be pretty mean, and I definitely have my own memories of mean girls. I remember 2nd and 3rd grade were particularly hard years for left out and treated poorly by classmates.
3. “Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all” –Moulin Rouge. Although I really love the movie Moulin Rouge, I’m not convinced their quote is true…for me. In my Beth Moore bible study we’ve been talking about broken hearts. Oh I’ve struggled with my heart being shattered. It’s sad to me to realize years later it still affects me. Through this bible study I’m going to deal with it once and for all!
4. Losing my Grandma my senior year of high school was definitely hard, but losing both my Grandpas last year within 3 months was even harder. With all of my grandparent’s deaths I’ve been by their side as much as I could handle. Any loss in the family is hard. Though I learned much from the process of these losses, I still mourn and my heart is still sensitive when I look back.

Lord, I know you know where and how and when I hurt. I love that you know me so intimately. Thank you for loving ME! Jesus, please show me what hurts and wounds I have so I may bring them to your feet. I am ready to be free. I am ready to give them up, no matter how much sympathy I get from holding onto them and having them in my past. Bring my wounds and hurts to the surface of this life I’ve given to you so you can heal it. I am ready and willing. I also say an extra prayer for a customer, Brant, who comes in daily and is in critical condition today. You know what is going on and I ask for healing upon him and wisdom for the doctors.