Hope Chest

As I go from room to room trying to find every possible item to sell at my yard sale this weekend, it dawns on me I haven’t yet checked my hope chest at the end of my bed. This hope chest was a high school graduation gift from my grandparents in 2002, back when Grandpa was still with us. Yes, many items have been in and out of this hope chest, items stored for my future home, sentimental items of clothing like my mom’s 1977 Spokane Community College cross country sweatshirt, old photographs, and as of a few years ago, I nonchalantly started adding baby items. As I kneel and push the button to unlatch the top of the chest, I shuffle a few items around and come across a brand new baby outfit still on the hanger. The memory of a trip to Indiana with a friend comes to mind; I couldn’t help but purchase this adorable little outfit for “someday”, most likely for a gift. (I have always wanted to buy baby items, but I knew it would upset me admitting I wanted these items for my future children; it’s kind of like planning your wedding before there is even a “hopeful”. For me, the reminder upsets me all the more.) I also come across 6 handmade burp rags, a delicately crocheted white dress with a pearl button and a few pieces of vintage decor I bought for a similar reason. I hold this precious little outfit and oh-so-soft cloth-set in my hands and realize I, soon, could put these items to use as I am in the process of becoming a licensed foster parent. I take the precious little outfit off the hanger and rip off the tags. I also separate the burp cloths and spread them out on top of my hope chest to admire them. I consider throwing them in the laundry bin and plan to use extra fabric softener. In that very moment, tears well up in my bottom eye lids like water about to topple over a dam. I start to have flashbacks of very specific scenes, scenes of me praying, journaling, weeping, begging, pleading with God. Scenes of phone calls with mom expressing my desire to be a wife and mother, of her telling me people are partnering with us in prayer, even a flashback to last weekend hearing Beth Moore speak about taking risks and using the gifts and abilities God has given us (Matthew 25:14). I also remember my adolescent years, praying for not only a God-fearing husband (as I still do), but for my future family and what to do with this desire He knitted in me while in my own mother’s womb. With all of these flashbacks flooding my memory, I come to and find myself gazing at the scattered baby items I, years ago, hand selected for “someday”, not knowing that the “someday” occasion would be my own. Instead of sobbing that God still hadn’t answered my prayer, like so, so many other hopeless nights, I was crying because I realized, He had. The bible speaks of how God doesn’t usually perform the way we want Him to, but instead he creatively and intricately weaves together His own plan for us, a true artist. So, here I kneel, literally weeping over my hope chest, possibly a month away from hosting a child in my home and realizing how He really has been answering my prayer all along. He has been planning my path as I have been trying my best to take the one less traveled and follow Him. Give Him, the true artist, your canvas, whether it blank or black, and I promise you, He will do something with it.

Future Plans

I am about to enter into a new chapter of my life and I wanted to update you, my dear friends and family, as plans are coming together. I have been hard at work interviewing people, attending classes and putting my home in order. I think you all know by now I would absolutely love to someday grow and carry a child inside of me, but for now fostering with hopes to adopt is what the Lord has set on my mothering heart. I have chosen to go through Antioch Adoptions and will be asking for future support in that area as they are a non-profit, child placement agency (http://www.antiochadoptions.org/). As for now, I ask for your prayers and encouragement as support. During one session of the 12 hours I spent in class last weekend, two women from Grassroots Therapy spoke and touched my heart so deeply, tears welled up in my eyes. I understand so many of these children have been through unexplainable things, but the creative solutions these women offered and the patience they demonstrated had the Holy Spirit speaking to me loud and clear, "THIS, this Kayla, is what I have created you to do". Have you ever had that feeling? Finally finding something that causes you look back over your life and see every little struggle and celebration fitting together like puzzle pieces? To see the big picture and what the Lord has been doing all along? It truly is unexplainable. "For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us." Romans 8:18 It's so hard for me to comprehend He knew all along! "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you." Jeremiah 29:11-12 Thank you for your support! Adopted: The Cost of Love http://youtu.be/kTpS8ij06M8

Daddy/Daughter Time

Tonight I get to go to Wenatchee and spend some time with dear ol’ dad. My dad is my hero. There are millions of things I love about my dad, and there are probably even more stories to share about my dad. In fact, when my family gets together, we most often do. And WHEN we do, my dad gives his silent chuckle, rubs his hands together…and if it’s REALLY funny then proceeds to rub the sides of his head. Sometimes I do this (unknowingly) when I’m all giddy and riled up, and my friends look at me funny and say, “WHAT WAS THAAAAAAAT?” So, my dad totally rubs off on me, whether I know it or not! (no pun intended)

There have been so many times in the past 6 months that I’ve thought of my dad and said to myself, “Boy, that sure was sweet of my dad to do that”. My dad is Mr. Fix-it. He can fix just about anything. As he says, “I’m not experienced in one specific area (i.e. plumbing), but I do know a little bit about a lot of things”. And that is true. He sure does come in handy when a girl decides to buy a house. So far dad has “helped me” put in a garage door, test the sprinkler system and replace all the heads, build an entire 4ft by 8ft craft table, paint just about every room in my house, clean out the gutters (and let me say, that was some STINKY stuff), saw down a tree in my front yard, spread grass seed and peat moss, fix and build fencing around my back yard, put up blinds and curtains…well, you get the picture. Not only did he do all of this, but he also financially took care of a lot of it. I’m not sure I can ever really, fully communicate my appreciation, but the great thing? He resembles our Holy Father in that he really doesn’t expect to be thanked. He doesn’t expect to be reimbursed. He’s my dad and he loves me. I always come to the same conclusion; My dad is an awesome example to me of how our Father loves and treasures His children. Good job dad.

Birthdays!

So, my wonderful friend’s birthday is the day after my mother’s birthday. She always makes me THE cutest things! This is what SHE made ME for my birthday last month.

I think we have this love language where these creations we make for one another mean so much more than any purchased gift, because they truly do come from the heart. This year I kept thinking about this wine box I had purchased (for an entirely different reason), and knew it had her name written all over it! But what to do with it. I thought and thought. I decided to make it into a hanging jewelry box for her wall. First I stained it. Then I spray painted the knobs. I picked out a background paper. I actually used wine corks to take up the extra room between the box and the knob. Since these are meant for dressers that are thicker, I had to take up some room. Lastly, I added a hook on the back so she can hang in to her wall. Here are some pix on how it turned out! I'm pleased...and so was she!

Addicted to Pinterest

As you may have guessed, I am totally addicted to Pinterest! Well, I found a really great Pinterest page today and thought I'd share it with you. I thought it would be so fun for a girls night. Anyway, here's the page. http://pinterest.com/lulu6236/things-i-must-try/ Stay tunned for tomorrow when I show you what I created for my b.f.f.'s birthday! So fun.

Seven Brides for Seven Brothers

There's just something about getting together with other single ladies that is so...empowering. Last night I invited my gal-pals over. They've been talking about the movie Seven Brides for Seven Brothers for awhile now, and I've never seen it. So, last night we crafted and watched the movie. The girls sang along to every song, quoted every line and predicted every future scene. They spoke of how attractive these outdoorzie men were and how it's hard to find a man who can actually cut down a tree and have it land within an inch of where he wants it! I may never get the song out of my head, "Bless her beautiful hide, wherever she may go"!

It's been too long...

I cannot believe it's been such a long time since I've written. Since I've last posted, a few things have changed. I took on a second job, I have joined a wonderful church, I'm in an amazing small group, I turned the big TWO-NINE and Pinterest is prettymuch my favorite thing! I'll be posting some fun ideas as well as some great pictures. My 29th birthday!

This is what I did to my back yard! It's a turkey feeder I turned into a little herb garden...it makes me so happy when I come out my back door and see it!

And, I got a puppy! He's bigger now, but I adore him. Captain Oliver Harrison is a chihuahua mix (they told me), but the bigger he gets the more I think the may have some min pin in him.

I'll post again soon!!! -Kayla

Hope Set High...

This song has been going through my head the last couple of days. My mom got this cd for me in 3rd grade...I'm so old!

-K


Hope Set High by Amy Grant

I've got my hope set high
That's why I came tonight
I need to see the truth
I need to see the light

I've got my hope set high
That's why I came tonight
I need to see the truth
I need to see the light
And I can do my best
And pray to the Father
But the one thing I ought to know by now

When it all comes down
When it all comes down
If there's anything good that happens in life
It's from Jesus

You know that when it all comes down

I've got my hope set high
And like a star at night
Out of the deepest dark
It shines the purest light

I've got my hope set high
Beyond the wrong and right
I need to see the truth
I need to see the light
Cause I can do my best
And pray to the Father
But the one thing I ought to know by now

I'll tell you when it all comes down

January 2011

Man oh man today is such a super slushy day! What a difference from yesterday. Yesterday it dumped snow on us…I think we got about 5 inches. Today it decided to warm up to 41 degrees and melt all that snow we got.

Last night at youth group, Roots, I was so touched by the girls in my small group. They have such tender hearts (espically for teenagers) and are so open to examining them and giving them to God. I’m so thankful for them. I so appreciate their honesty and devotion to God, it’s inspiring. I had to thank God today and He said, “Kayla, this is why you do it”.
A lot has gone on since I’ve written last, I do apologize it’s been such a long time. I got a new tattoo! I’m sure you’re asking, “cute, but what does it mean?” Well, one year ago I had a pretty significant change in my life, and it’s a way of celebrating that. Recognizing how far God had brought me and what he’s done. Realizing I have wings and I can spread them and fly. I need not be scared, worried or fearful of the things of this earth, even the little ones. The Lord has provided for me and has taken care of me this far and my trust is in Him. Also I completed the Beth Moore bible study this summer, and I wanted to celebrate by doing something like this, a reminder I AM HIS!

Humm, what else, Christmas was fun as usual. Mom, Dad, Sam and Rachel came over from Wenatchee. We had a great time eating Pho and opening gifts Christmas morning at my house!
Now it’s just back to work and nose to the grindstone. I am looking forward, however, to a conference I’m going to with my fellow Roots leaders. We’re carpooling over to Forge together. http://forge2011.eventbrite.com/3
Well, I’m hoping it’ll be very soon I write again. Until then friends!

Prayer Power

Thank you Lord for Your perfect timing. I was reminded you really are in control. Waiting really can be hard, but I’m encouraged you have what’s best for ME in mind. I thank you for that.
After realizing you do everything in your timing and for your Glory, I’m actually finding it harder to pray. I always pray for the outcome I want…not what you have planned. One of my key phrases in prayer is usually, “Love them Lord”, but I learned last week that you already love us as much as you possibly can. I want to change my ways of praying, but I’m not exactly sure how. I want to be a better prayer warrior and I pray you’d teach me how. Show me Lord, I’m asking.
I ask you’d comfort B as she’s in the hospital. Please comfort her family and let them know your arms are wrapped around them tightly with love. Give them a miracle Lord. Prepare their hearts for what is to come. I also lift up D. Heal him Lord. Show him you are love. We cannot experience love without you, because YOU ARE LOVE! Thank you for providing the friends and family you have put in my life; I am so blessed to be going through this life with them.
Amen.

Come And Fill Me Up!

I’m inviting God to fill every void in me with the living water that is Christ Jesus.
God fill my compulsiveness with you.
God fill my hunger with you.
God fill my “I’m missing out” feeling with you.
God fill my worry and doubt with you.
God fill my desire for anything but you, with you.
God fill my rejected spirit with you.
God fill my “I’m not good enough” mental state with you.
God take my un-motivated heart and trade it for one full of you.
God inspire my soul.
God encourage me so I can encourage others.
Amen

Brant Thieren

The gentleman I was praying for did end up passing away last week. I'm glad he was a part of my Stoneway experience and I am still praying for the comfort of his family (4 children) and friends. I've posted the link to his obituary incase you would care to check it out.

http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/spokesman/obituary.aspx?n=brant-thieren&pid=144612066

Breaking Free Week 7

I’m going through the Beth Moore bible study of Breaking Free. This week I’m learning about liberty, doing our father’s will and obedience. One thing that really stuck out to me yesterday was that “we are free when, and only when, He is in control”. Gosh, sure makes sense I guess, but what a commitment! The other thing she said was, “Our liberation is expressed as a reality only in the places of our lives where the free spirit of God is released.” In this week 7 she talks about when we receive Christ and how he actually “takes up residence inside us”. Isn’t that CRAZY to think about?!?!?. And I wonder how in the world I can still manage to disobey! It’s neat to know that He lives in me and it also is a constant reminder for me to try my best to make the right decision. “But my salvation will last forever, my righteousness will never fail” Isaiah 51:6

Stoneway 30 Year Open House

Today at work we had our 30 year open house. It was pretty crazy from 8am until 3pm. Reps from every company attended as well as tons of customers. We had Red Lion cater chicken, ribs, potatoes au gratin, homemade pasta and coleslaw…ooh so good! I had fun teasing all the reps and fellow Stoneway employees from other stores. I haven’t laughed that hard in a long time! All in all a great day!
Lord I pray for jr. high tonight. Give me energy and motivation and let me be understanding yet stern. Let me love all the jr. highers and let me make at least one good connection tonight. Thank you for how you’ve healed Brant thus far and I pray you’d continue to comfort their family and heal Brant. Thank you Lord. Also, can you freeze time so I have time to finish my bible study homework? Thanks, amen.
-K

Shopping with Charlene.

Shopping with Charlene is one of my all-time most favorite experiences ever. Charlene went to school with my parents at NW Christian and has been my mom’s good friend all my growing up years. With seven boys and no daughters, she adopted me as her only daughter! What makes her such a good shopping buddy, anyway?
*She always says, “well, try it on, you never know!” even if it’s close to the ugliest thing in the store.
*She says, “Oh, I love how you can put that outfit together in your mind”.
*She always tells me if it’s a major NO!
*She helps me if I can’t get the attire on all the way. (Like last night trying on slimmers…oh sheish! Not sure if anyone else would have done that.)
*There is NEVER enough time for all the shopping we want to do. The stores close way too early! Go-go-go is a great characteristic!
*In and out and on with life. If there’s nothing there…don’t bother.
Just a few wonderful qualities about Charlene! Thanks for the amazing shopping experience last night Charlene! Here’s a picture of my $4 top from Ross. Love-it!

Monday August 2nd, 2010

I haven’t had much time to think to myself today. Mondays are usually just “trying to making it through the day” kind of days. I forgot my bible study at home so I couldn’t do that on my lunch break. Monday-Thursday I usually take my bible study to a nearby Starbucks for some quiet time with God. I feel like I’m already behind…hopefully tomorrow! And tonight…oh I’m so excited…I get to go out with my good friend for a belated birthday celebration! Dinner at Azteca and shopping ‘til the stores close! One hour and twenty minutes away! Whoo-hoo!
Lord, thank you for the bonding moments of life as well as the shoe-shopping ones! Sometimes shopping can be an idol –with the adrenaline rush and all- and I pray now that if it is one for me you’d convict me and bring it to my attention. You are all I need Lord, and I acknowledge that now. I continue to lift up Brant to you Lord. Please heal his body. The workplace isn’t the same and we all miss his smiling face. I pray you comfort those who love him and continue to love on them. Send your Holy Spirit to be with them and be near during this time of need. Amen
-K

Hurts

I was asked this week to think and pray about my hurts. More so hurts I’ve experienced in my life that are still with me. Here’s what I’ve come up with so far.
1. Being left out as a child. It seemed everyone in my life were always buddied up and I was mostly without a bff. I remember being in 6th grade and being so angry with my parents after Sunday school that they didn’t immediately come find me after they were let out of service. I HATED being alone. I hated the label “loner” even though I was never called one; the fear alone was enough to make me never be caught dead standing alone!
2. I know most school kids can be pretty mean, and I definitely have my own memories of mean girls. I remember 2nd and 3rd grade were particularly hard years for left out and treated poorly by classmates.
3. “Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all” –Moulin Rouge. Although I really love the movie Moulin Rouge, I’m not convinced their quote is true…for me. In my Beth Moore bible study we’ve been talking about broken hearts. Oh I’ve struggled with my heart being shattered. It’s sad to me to realize years later it still affects me. Through this bible study I’m going to deal with it once and for all!
4. Losing my Grandma my senior year of high school was definitely hard, but losing both my Grandpas last year within 3 months was even harder. With all of my grandparent’s deaths I’ve been by their side as much as I could handle. Any loss in the family is hard. Though I learned much from the process of these losses, I still mourn and my heart is still sensitive when I look back.

Lord, I know you know where and how and when I hurt. I love that you know me so intimately. Thank you for loving ME! Jesus, please show me what hurts and wounds I have so I may bring them to your feet. I am ready to be free. I am ready to give them up, no matter how much sympathy I get from holding onto them and having them in my past. Bring my wounds and hurts to the surface of this life I’ve given to you so you can heal it. I am ready and willing. I also say an extra prayer for a customer, Brant, who comes in daily and is in critical condition today. You know what is going on and I ask for healing upon him and wisdom for the doctors.

Underwear

I was a Fred Meyer getting some groceries during my lunch break and the thought crossed my mind, “there sure are a lot of people who think that not wearing underwear is unnoticeable”. Let me tell you, IT’S NOTICEABLE! I’m sorry! I’m about to be vulgar, but holy cow…when your shorts get stuck in your butt crack and you are simply walking…it’s noticeable. And when anyone with some extra cellulite in the rear is walking down the isle and there is no extra support of the underwear…oh my is it ever noticeable. I’m not even going to go into the whole bending over subject because you KNOW what I would have to say about that. So please people, this is an urgent plea…PLEASE WEAR UNDERWEAR! I know it’s summer and it’s hot and an extra added layer of clothing just sucks, but really, you are helping us all out in the long run. And no, thongs (or as I like to call them – dental floss) do not count as underwear. We are trying to eliminate jiggle, not encourage it.
P.S. I went to the Spokane Valley DMV today and got my new temporary license! Here’s a pic!

Thursday 7/29/2010

During my lunch break a co-worker and I headed to the new Farm Chicks store! I’m posting a picture of just how cute it is! It was fun, but sorry to say I was expecting so much more. I just love the feeling of finding something original. You know when there’s only ONE of it and your blood pressure escalates and you have a serious debate whether or not you should buy it? Well, I guess I always HOPE for that feeling, but let me tell you I was REALLY hoping for it at the Farm Chicks store. Sad to say there was about 20 of everything when all I was really on the hunt for was a one-of-a-kind find. If you’re looking for necklaces, chapstick, and tshirts with the Farm Chicks logo on them, this store is your kind of place. For me, for now, I’m hoping after they make a few bucks from their grand opening, they’ll invest in some “pickers” to find some highly anticipated treasures.


On another note, something that’s been on my heart today… Do you know those acquaintances you meet then feel a special pulling on your heart? For me, I never know for sure what it means; just that the Holy Spirit is signaling in me to push myself to meet them, talk to them, reach out to them, or even encourage them by just saying hi. A few months ago I moved my desk at work back to the old data center where there was an opening. There was a man by the name of Bill that would come in daily and deliver special tapes. Every day he’d come in around 2pm and I’d politely say hello. I got that strange pull from the Holy Spirit to push myself and really try and take the time go get to know him. I told one of my co-workers, “I don’t know what it’ll take, but I’m going to get that guy to open up to me!”. Well, yesterday my co-worker got an email that Bill had suddenly died the day prior. He hadn’t been feeling well and had been in and out the last few weeks. All this to say, when the Holy Spirit pulls on your heart…obey. I did what He asked of me and I’m glad I didn’t just ignore this inclining in my heart. We just never know how long anyone has left on this earth.

Oh Kayla, You Silly Girl!

So, I had this real great idea to renew my driver’s license online so I wouldn’t have to deal with going in, waiting, getting my picture taken, waiting and waiting some more. I’m a busy woman with a tight schedule…at least I keep telling myself that. When I renewed online, the website wouldn’t let me change my address. If I tried, it just said I had to go in to my nearest DOL office. Well, I didn’t want to deal with that now did I? I already made up my mind I wasn’t going in. So, I figured – what harm would it do to just have my old address on my driver’s license? I move so much anyway, it doesn’t matter to me which address in on there. It’ll change again soon anyway. Last night (the day my license expired and my birthday) I was upset my new license hadn’t shown up yet. What was taking so long? I mean, sure I have some dumb print-out just in case I get pulled over or something, but where was my new license? Finally it dawned on me…duh, they probably sent it to my old address I confirmed when I renewed it. Oh it’s so hard not to call myself names…’cause I sure feel like an idiot! This is what I get for taking the easy way out. Here’s a picture of me and my frustrated face!